The limerick contest

Old Scrooge did nothing but frown

When Bob Crachet put his pen down

He asked to leave work

But Old Scrooge is a jerk

So now Bob is wearing the frown.

There was an old fellow named Clause

Who wore women’s clothing because

He liked how it felt

To be stacked and svelte

And hide his shortcomings and flaws.

There was an old fellow named Clause

Whose feet were as big as his paws

He said with a grin

As he wiped his chin

The guy from Nantucket had cause.

St. Nick had a reindeer named Blitzen

His nose was frequently itchin’

He let out a sneeze

And knocked down the trees

Which set the whole town to bitchin’.

Old Scrooge did nothing but frown

The goose would not be put down

It ran down the street

Screaming, “Me you won’t eat!”

So the Crachets, Old Scrooge they did pound!

Old Scrooge did nothing but frown

His stocks on the Dow had gone down

He thought of a check

But he wailed, “Oh, the heck!”

I’ll just hire out as a clown.

Old Scrooge did nothing but frown

And Santa showed up in town

While wearing a dress

And said what a mess

A transvestite has ruined my gown!